I’m yet to meet a neurospicy person who hasn’t suffered from periods of unrelenting anxiety. Whether that manifests in a sense of doom, physical body pain, overthinking, panic, insomnia, or an acute desire to run away. In my most recent video I speak about masking being a major reason for neurodivergent anxiety.
What does masking look like?
There are a few different types of masking:
1) Abandoning physical / mental health needs to please others
2) Hiding authentic feelings and neurospicy habits
3) Performing neuronormative mannerisms / communication styles / stamina
Obviously these types hugely overlap, and it can be really difficult to catch yourself doing it.
Why do we mask?
A) Rejection: many neurospicy people experience exclusion before they learn to mask
B) Trauma: this might involve bullying, shaming or disciplining people for their authentic nature
C) Reward: learning that masking leads to greater or faster success
Why does it cause anxiety?
Any type of performance causes an increase in stress hormones. But performing against your nature in order to survive is a whole other level. It keeps you stuck in the belief that you are unsafe if you reveal yourself. Ultimately this feels like keeping a dangerous secret.
How can we work to reduce ND anxiety?
In therapy we could deep dive into the following:
Which areas of your life push you to act inauthentically
Which adjustments might support your true self
What feelings come up when you imagine asking for these adjustments
How we meet, soothe and honour those feelings
Which baby steps help you gently test out conflict
Which examples of authentic communication give you confidence
How (if at all) you have counteracted masking in unhealthy ways – e.g.
excluding yourself from society
living impulsively or recklessly
prioritizing expression, fun & desire over rest / peace
entering into regular confrontation
What an authentic and healing balance could look like for you
If you feel like you could benefit from therapy, I welcome you too book a free call with me. I am open to all of your questions and have flexible pricing plans. If you’d like to find out more about me, there is lots of information on my website.