How to let your insecurities make you rather than break you
Insecurities form when we absorb direct or implied messages from the outside world about why we aren’t good enough. Neurodivergent people tend to get plenty of these messages.
Some from teachers, making students feel stupid for not being able to learn in the same ways as others. Parents scolding their kids for getting upset about something they deem insignificant, peers labeling neurodivergent attempts at social contact ‘weird / needy / intense / awkward.’
In what ways do insecurities break us?
When you believe the messages, they create shame, which can impact you in the following ways:
Discourage you from following your dreams
Limit your ability to function / take up space
Create discomfort around forming relationships
Lead you to abandon your needs / people please
Justify painful or even abusive behaviour from others
Block you from feeling joy in profound / fun moments
When I look at this list, I feel small. To be such a reduced version of yourself is not truly living. It’s a horrible head space to be in.
Where do we start?
You won’t change, unless you’re prepared to consider that what you believe is not true. Easier said than done. But you can start by watering these small thought seeds:
A) What is right for everyone else isn’t necessarily what is right for me
B) I don’t have to be like other people in order to be good enough
C) Just because someone I love is judging me, it doesn’t mean they are right
How can our insecurities make us?
Insecurities highlight the parts of us that are radical, that challenge societal convention, which tends to be rooted in misogyny, ableism, racism & homophobia. So it’s revolutionary to take those lovely thought seeds and grow them into a forest of empowerment:
The parts of me that have been judged are not shameful. They are FABULOUS. They make me unique / special / someone with a story / something to teach. The more I embrace them, the more powerful and well I will become. When it comes to WHO I AM, people can take it or leave it. I am taking it. I deserve my boundaries, my particular needs, pleasure and connection. In the times others can't / won't meet these, I will not give up on myself. Embracing myself will lead to conflict and loss. I will remain steadfast in self-love.